==> Be the fairy horse.
Your name is Equius and you are covered in children.
You are not at all certain how this came to pass. One of them, the girl Aradia, has the audacity to actually pet your mane, and Nepeta, the traitor, is curled up purring on Karkat’s back. But when the young seal prince – who doesn’t act at all as his bloodline dictates, it’s as if he honestly has no conception of who his father is – lounging against your flank with the changeling child asleep in his arms and the lost seelie boy curled against his side, tells you "don’t worry, brother" –
you find that you don’t mind all that much.
Orkneystuck never stopped being a thing! It is still happening.
Slowly, as the the little Equius-Nepeta-Gamzee-Karkat cadre grows to include Tavros, Terezi, and Aradia (in the aftermath of the Vriska Incident), Equius finds himself being appropriated – much to his consternation – as Team Mom. Once Kanaya and Sollux join up, they’re sucked into the fold as well.