Month: June 2017

piedpica:

I somehow took it into my head that Ancalagon the Black was female, since female reptiles are bigger than the males usually. 

Hi there new followers who are here for my Horrible Elves! I want to share my true First-Age-of-Middle-Earth love with y’all, which is dragons, specifically this dragon, who gets really very little text-time as dragons go but hey. 

A… meme???

@imindhowwelayinjune tagged me on this instead of my main so I think by the rules I have to put it here? Anyway it’s my blog I do what I want and what I want is to talk about myself.

A—Age: 25

B—Birthplace: Nebraska

C—Current Time: 9:58 pm

D—Drink You Last Had: Sangria with these huge fuck-off chunks of pineapple in it, and relatedly my mouth now feels like it has been sandpapered.

E—Easiest Person To Talk To: gonna give this one to @tsukidoesthething and @sadgaywerewolf

F—Favourite Song: My current hyperfixation is on An Toll Dubh by Runrig but call back in three days.

G—Grossest Memory: I am a vulture so like I have a lot of nasty dead animal stories but let’s go with the roadkill collecting adventure that involved an exploding deer and a 20-mile-drive back to civilization with deer goop on everything.

H—Horror Yes or Horror No: Pal. Friend. I am the biggest weenie. 

I—In Love: Not right now.

J—Jealous of People: I mean, yes? I would like to be wealthy enough to afford healthcare, I am jealous of the rich and/or people who live in countries with socialized medicine.   

L—Love at First Sight or Should I Walk By Again: Walk by like several times, probably with an airhorn and sandwich board proclaiming what’s up or I am almost definitely not gonna catch on.

M—Middle Name: It’s a US state good luck

N—Number of Siblings: @sadgaywerewolf is it. haha nerd

O—One Wish: Student loans? Gone. 

P—Person You Called Last: United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, I think?

Q—Question You Are Always Asked: Say again?

R—Reason to Smile: this dog is MY DOG

S—Song You Sang Last: I have found myself singing ‘The Parting Glass’ under my breath NIGH CONSTANTLY for like a week and and I do not know why

T—Time You Woke Up: 6:30 AM

U—Underwear Colour: Green with a black like scale pattern. Lizard boxers.

V—Vacation Destination: I R E L A N D

W—Worst Habit: I am so pedantic, I’m sorry, I’m annoyed by me too

X—X-Rays: Nah baby, ultrasounds and MRIs, IMAGE that SOFT TISSUE

Y—Your Favourite Food: This concoction sometimes, the rest of the time the lentil soup my local Indian place does. 

Z—Zodiac Sign: 

image

tagging people is WORK I’m pretty sure but if you wanna do this and got it from me lemme know because I L O V E these bullshit things

If you liked Horrible Elves™ then you’ll love Horrible Elves 2: Son of Horrible Elves.

Sons. Anyway.

Featured headcanons:

  • SAT prep interlude: as Curufin : Fëanor :: Maedhros : Nerdanel
  • Maglor is juuuuuust a little older than Fingon. Fingolfin was planning on using Kanafinwë for his eldest but Fëanor completely fucking sniped the name out from under him so he just panicked and flipped the order to give us Findekáno.
  • Celegorm wasn’t actually All That Bad back in Aman but he totally inherited Miriel’s hair and Fëanor’s shirt allergy.
  • Like the rest of the fandom I keep forgetting about Caranthir SORRY MORIFINWË also sorry your rosacea was apparently the most notable thing about you, that’s rough buddy.
  • Curufinwë Curufinwion: smol but still taller than Feener. Amazing. 
  • Horrible Identical Ginger Menaces Get Away With Literally Everything Because At Least They’re Not Waving Swords At People, More At Eleven
  • They’re all part of House Greathair of course they are all walking Elf L’Oreal commericals

More horrible elves! Ft. Fingolfin and his big brother. 

Headcanons featured:

  • Noldor are into body piercings. 
  • Feener is Short™
  • Both Fëanor and Fingolfin look almost exactly like their dad and more importantly almost exactly like each other and neither of them is super stoked about it. 
  • Nolofinwë “wounded Morgoth with seven wounds“ Finwion absolutely squabbled with Fëanor constantly when they were young which would have been fine and normal except
  • Neither of these boys know how to not escalate (except Fingolfin, one time) and it explains a lot about how things ended up